Describe the SITUATION that evoked your feelings of sadness, badness, or madness.
Example: Today, while we were driving, I felt very sad when my husband spoke to me in a gruff manner, after I asked him to slow down his driving for me around a dangerous curve.
Focusing on the FEELINGS evoked by this incident, find your PERTURBING PERCEPTION of the situation and the people involved, especially yourself.
Example: I felt intense sadness in my heart during this incident. My perturbing perception was that I did not count, and that I did not matter to anyone, not even my husband.
Still focusing on the feelings, find the PLACE during your life where you felt like this FOR THE FIRST TIME, whether that be this day, last year, or fifty years ago.
Example: Focusing on the sadness, I discovered a memory that matched it: I was about eight years old. I had just cleaned the whole kitchen floor while my parents were out shopping and could not wait for them to come back and be proud of me. But after they returned from shopping, my dad walked over my clean floor with his dirty shoes. When I tried to tell him not to dirty my newly washed floor, he was gruff with me, the same way my husband was with me when we were driving.
INVITE GOD’S PRESENCE AND PARTICIPATION into your feelings, perceptions, and place where you experienced these for the first time. Allow Him to exchange your perception for His Perspective—THE TRUTH.
Example: Lord Jesus, I invite You into this place of sadness in my heart. Although my mind is telling me that I am unimportant and do not count because my dad walked over my clean floor (and my husband does not want to slow his driving down just for me), I surrender my own perception to You and ask for Your Truth.
Allow God to SPEAK into your feelings of sadness and your perturbing perception that nobody cares about you. LISTEN for His voice. LOOK inside the memory and see, hear, and feel if there is anything different there. God speaks in many different ways. Be open, and be patient.
Example: While focusing on the memory where I felt unimportant for the first time, I saw, with the eyes of my heart, a little girl standing in front of her daddy. She was wearing a royal robe and a crown. Then I heard with the ears of my heart: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). I knew that I counted. I mattered. I was important, because I was important to God and I counted to Him. My feeling of sadness disappeared. Today, I know that I count, even when my husband is gruff.
Has there been a situation this week that evoked feelings of sadness, madness, or badness in you? Do not focus on what someone said or did to you. Instead, turn your heart to you own interpretation of the situation, because our interpretations were sold under sin to the father-of-lies. Find out where this interpretation entered your mind for the first time, and surrender it to God to receive His Truth…and a new heart.
Maintain an Awareness
Often times, we use the same defense mechanisms we saw our parents or other authority figures use, during our childhood lives. If they hid behind a smile to pretend that everything was OK, we learned to do the same.