I enjoyed the book “I’m OK-You’re OK” by Thomas Harris.  In this book, Harris explains that we take on certain life positions of OK-ness while we are very young.  These life positions then stay with us for the rest of our lives.  Some people take on the life position “I’m OK-You’re not OK”.  Others take on the life position “I’m not OK-You’re OK”. One of the most damaging life positions to take on is “I’m not OK-You’re not OK”.  Harris explains that when people take on this position of not-OK-ness, they hurt so much, but are not likely to change, because on top of not liking themselves, they do not like anybody else enough to trust them.

WHEN HE LIES, HE SPEAKS HIS NATIVE LANGUAGE, FOR HE IS A LIAR AND THE FATHER OF LIES
(John 8:44).

 It is the father-of-lies’ goal to get us to adopt the life position “I’m not OK-You’re not OK”.  He does this by lying to us about ourselves…and lying to us about God.  He tells us that we are not OK and that God is not OK, either—that God cannot be trusted.  This way, he sets us up with a life position that keeps us trapped. We do not feel OK about ourselves, but we have nowhere to turn, because “God is not OK and cannot be trusted.”  But then, the father-of-lies offers us an escape route: sinful habits and patterns of hiding our not-OK selves from our not-OK God, running from our not-OK selves and our not-OK God, and blaming our not-OK God for our not-OK selves.

MAY THEY BE BROUGHT TO COMPLETE UNITY TO LET THE WORLD KNOW THAT YOU SENT ME AND HAVE LOVED THEM EVEN AS YOU HAVE LOVED ME
(John 17:23).

I bless you to know that all the things the father-of-lies told you about God…is not true.  God is the Perfect Father and He wants you to know that He loves you as much as He loves His Son, Jesus.  You can trust Him!

By the way, I took on the life position “I’m not OK-You’re not OK” as a child, as well.  Nobody could help me get rid of it, because I did not trust anybody.  However, after I have come to know God as the Perfect Father who can be trusted, I have allowed Him to help me adopt the position “I’m OK-You’re OK” through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Which life position have you taken on? What are the underlying negative, destructive beliefs from the father-of-lies about YOU…and about GOD?

Would you like to acquire the position I’m OK-You’re OK? Then, you need to invite God’s Presence and Participation into the beliefs that deem you and others not-OK. Embrace these beliefs, expose them to God, and allow Him to exchange them for His Truth.

PRAYER: Lord God, I am tired of feeling not-OK about myself and others. Help me to trust You to lead me to the place where I will feel that I am OK and that others are OK, too.

WE HAD TO LEARN OURSELVES AND,
FURTHERMORE, WE HAD TO TEACH THE DESPAIRING MEN,
THAT IT DID NOT REALLY MATTER WHAT WE EXPECTED FROM LIFE,
BUT RATHER WHAT LIFE EXPECTED FROM US.
Viktor E. Frankl

I have many expectations. Usually, before I get to my expected goal or destination, I have already envisioned certain outcomes for certain occurrences, according to the picture in my mind.  I have formed presumptions.  I have made calculations.  I have it all planned out ahead of time—what it is going to look like, what is going to happen, what I am going to say, and what I am going to do.  Then, I expect my expectations to be fulfilled.

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART
AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING;
IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM,
AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT
(Proverbs 3:5-6).

To live according to your expectations is just another way to lean on your own understanding.  Doesn’t it feel so much more convenient to envision an outcome for an occurrence than to trust the Lord with all our heart for His outcome?  Is it not so much easier to form our own presumptions and to make our own calculations than to acknowledge God in these ways?  Is it not so much faster to plan our own future than to allow God to make our paths straight?

“YOUR KINGDOM COME, YOUR WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN
(Matthew 6:10).

Beautiful Child, I, your Perfect Father, have already made permanent plans in Heaven for you. I have already made the necessary calculations.  I have already planned the outcome of every detail of your life. I am looking for someone who is willing to lay down his expectations…for Mine.  Whenever a picture forms in your head, I want you to submit that picture to Me and say, “Perfect Father, may Your Purpose be done in my life, not the purpose I am living for through this picture in my mind.”  Whenever a plan forms in your mind, I want you to lay that plan at My feet and say, “Perfect Father, may You do with me as You have already planned in Heaven.  Only Your Expectations are valid.”

What picture is painted in your head about your future? What will it take for you to give that picture to God and allow Him to substitute it for His own picture in your mind?

PRAYER: Lord Jesus, instead of holding on to the pictures I have of my purpose and my future, I surrender these pictures in my mind, to You. Erase them, O Lord, and paint a new picture in my mind—a picture of the plans You have already made in Heaven for me. Your Will be done in my life, as it has been planned in Heaven.

The other day, my daughter and I walked across the beach to visit a friend.  After our visit, our friend offered to take us home on his boat.  Looking forward to our walk together on the beach during a brilliantly sunny day where waves would splash beauty onto our souls, my daughter and I declined the offer.  Then, not feeling slighted, neglected, or insulted, our friend offered to walk a part of the way back with us across the beach, instead.

I WROTE TO THE CHURCH, BUT DIOTREPHES, WHO LOVES TO BE FIRST, WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH US.  SO IF I COME, I WILL CALL ATTENTION TO WHAT HE IS DOING, GOSSIPING MALICIOUSLY ABOUT US. NOT SATISFIED WITH THAT, HE REFUSES TO WELCOME THE BROTHERS. HE ALSO STOPS THOSE WHO WANT TO DO SO AND PUTS THEM OUT OF THE CHURCH
(3 John 1:9-10).

I would like to warn you that Self, the sinful nature in us, LIKES TO BE FIRST.  When someone treats Self with disdain or indifference, Self very easily feels slighted, neglected, and insulted.  This often results in sinful acts of having nothing to do with the offenders—gossiping maliciously, and refusing to be welcoming.

BUT YOU HAVE PLANTED WICKEDNESS, YOU HAVE REAPED EVIL, YOU HAVE EATEN THE FRUIT OF DECEPTION
(Hosea 10:13).

Know that Self has eaten of the fruit of deception; Self possesses no Truth. Instead, it is filled with the oppressing beliefs of the father-of-lies. Therefore, Self is always ready to plant wickedness and reap evil.

THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH. THE WORLD CANNOT ACCEPT HIM, BECAUSE IT NEITHER SEES HIM NOR KNOWS HIM. BUT YOU KNOW HIM, FOR HE LIVES WITH YOU AND WILL BE IN YOU
(John 14:17).

 Precious Child, Self does not know the Truth, because it neither sees Me, nor knows Me. However, YOU are able to know the Truth. Use your will to invite My Spirit of Truth into your heart, despite the spitefulness of Self. Allow Me, your Savior, to replace the deceitful beliefs of Self with My Self. Then, the Truth will set you free from feeling slighted, neglected, and insulted when someone declines your offer or invitation.

To what lengths would your Self go to be first? How does your Self react when someone treats it with disdain or indifference?

What would it take for you to lay Self, the sinful nature in you, down at the feet of the Lord Jesus, and allow Him to replace it with His Self?

PRAYER: Lord Jesus, please help me. I cannot get rid of Self by myself. You need to do it for me. Therefore, I lay Self down at Your feet. Nail it to Your cross and exchange it for Your Self, so I may be free from Self’s selfish reactions.